Inspired by John O’Donnohue’s writing, I’ve been contemplating life’s thresholds for some time now. Birth. Loss. Love. Death. I’ve led hundreds of wedding ceremonies so perhaps it was always going to follow that I would slowly become drawn to leading other types of ceremonies. Memorials, in particular. I once saw a meme that said, “it’s not called a conference call – it’s a calling”. That’s the way I feel about dropping the technically-accurate-but-limiting job title of marriage officer in favour of more-encompassing title of celebrant. Celebrants lead wedding ceremonies, sure, but they also lead other rites.

I’m new to this and that can feel daunting in some ways but I also know that there is a power in beginner’s eyes. There’s a chance to bring something meaningful and unique to rituals and ceremonies that have become formulaic, tired and ill-suited.

Earlier this year, after a few previous requests from others that I declined, I agreed to lead a memorial. Why did I say yes this time? Pretty much everything about it. I had married a couple not long ago and one of the grooms had passed. Though I cannot say I have known such an enormous loss in my own life, personal experiences meant that I felt – maybe for the first time – equipped to meet that grief. Even the place the husband chose to celebrate his late love spoke to me on a profound level. I had a full-body yes, which is a term that has become a bit co-opted by wellness gurus/influencers but I like it nonetheless and I can’t think of a better way to describe it.

So then, how do I go about doing this important work of leading memorials? I suppose the first step is to say I want to. To put my intention out there and then all I can do is trust that those looking for a celebrant to honour their loved ones will find me and we’ll go from there.

John O’Donnohue wrote, “may someone who knows and loves the complex village of your heart be there to echo you back to yourself. And create a sure word-raft to carry you to the further shore“.

I do not for one moment profess to have known the complex village of your loved one’s heart but I know that you do and I know, deep within me, that I can help you create that word-raft. You and I can sit and talk and tell stories and I will listen and I will relay that love to all those gathered. I will bring gravitas and laughter to the celebration of their life.