Why Elope in Cape Town? | The Magic of a Cape Town Elopement

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A Cape Town elopement can mean exchanging vows on a mountain, on a beach, overlooking the ocean or somewhere entirely unexpected. But for me, the real magic of eloping in Cape Town isn’t simply the scenery. It’s the feeling of being completely inside the experience.

Words can sometimes flatten the deepest emotions or pin them down like wild butterflies stunned out of magnificent flight, flimsy souvenirs of what moved and coloured air like silk.

I’ve been thinking about how to capture the magic of elopements, and this line about what moved and coloured air like silk conveys how difficult that is.

Let me have a go at it, though…

Many foreign couples have their hearts set on eloping in Cape Town but they’re not sure where to start because they don’t have local knowledge nor insight into service providers (other than on social media). 

There's nothing better than being barefoot on the beach... Or wait, being bare foot on a beach in Cape Town after just marrying the love of your life

Some of my favourite places for couples to exchange vows are situated along Clarence Drive and Chapmans Peak Drive. 

Why do elopements feel different?

Many wedding venues offer incredible views. What sets an elopement apart is that you’re in the view. You’re not looking at it from a distance; you’re standing in it.

I think that’s true of many aspects of elopements. There is very little distance between you and the experience.

Elopements allow for presence. They slow things down enough for spontaneity, fun and magic to find their way in.

Let me tell you a little story…

In November 2020, I was walking on top of one of the seven wonders of the world, Table Mountain (subtle boast), alongside a really close friend and photographer. We were both feeling rather giddy about the fact that we get paid to do what we would happily do for free.

A couple of hours before we left for the cable car, one of the brides messaged me to ask if I could possibly bring some capers and anchovies with me.

You see, their families were already at the mountain cottage. We would be the last to arrive and, therefore, the last hope of rescuing dinner that evening: lamb chops on the braai. The ingredients were crucial to the couple’s signature marinade.

So up the mountain we went, capers and anchovies in tow.

After the ceremony, the champagne sabrage, the dried heather confetti, and staying out a little later than we had anticipated for photographs because it was just that good, I found myself sitting in a stone cottage among the brides’ family, enjoying a home-cooked meal and knowing that I had just made lifelong friends.

(For the record, you don’t have to be lifelong friends with us at the end of your elopement. Friends though — yes. Contractually, clause 12.4.5 insists upon it.)

But the point of the story is that I, rather selfishly, love elopements because I get to be in the celebration rather than on the periphery of it.

And I think this is true for couples too.

How’s this for an exquisite spot to exchange your vows?

Please note that the confetti used in this image is dried fynbos.

In the golden light after eloping at the top of Table Mountain

Eloping as two foreigners in Cape Town

Eloping: being part of it all

Big weddings are wonderful when your friends throw them. You’re surrounded by good people and good food and good music… What’s not to love?! But when you’re at the centre of those big, expensive parties, it too often comes with stress. A lot of it.

Elopements don’t come with strict schedules (other than the golden setting sun, which we insist you bathe in!). You don’t have to worry about five hundred different family-photo combinations or making sure you’ve said hello to every guest.

(For the record, there are no guests at an elopement. Those who are there, if you choose to have them, are part of it all. That distinction matters.)

Okay, so I think I’ve managed to convince you to elope — something you were already sold on before you started reading this — so we can move on now…

You may be wondering: why not simply put together your own tailored elopement with the photographer you love, the make-up artist you adore, and the florist who made that exquisite bouquet you saw in June 2023?

Because an elopement is more personal than it is tailored.

We want to protect you from doom scrolling. From getting lost in the details. From decision fatigue. From anything that takes you away from the beautiful, personal and very simple truth that you want to spend the rest of your lives together — and you want to celebrate that fact.

And the other reason we put elopement teams together is because we like working together. That may sound like a small thing, but it isn’t. Elopements rely on the energy of the individuals involved. That’s principally the couple, sure, but it includes everyone gathered. That’s a long way of saying: we’re fun and we’ve done this many times and, sjoe, but do we know some hidden Cape Town gems.

The joy of an elopement in Cape Town is that you get to sit in spots like this one, while still feeling the pulse of the city and the people that call it home

The wonderful thing about an elopement in Cape Town is you get to do things on your own terms – no rushing, no obligations, no fanfare or fuss, no agendas, no tight schedule.

The magic of an elopement

And, as a last nod to elopements, there’s that giddy feeling I described en route to that cottage in 2020. I find that couples feel it too, only a thousandfold.

Because when you pick a mountain or a beach or a viewpoint to elope on, and you finally arrive at this long-anticipated moment and you’re awed by everything around you, inside you and, most importantly, by the human beside you, you will feel giddy too. A little dose of disbelief.

How is it that we get to do this, here?

Therein lies some magic.

Eloping in Cape Town means you can soak up the golden sunset light and be seated at an exquisite restaurant an hour later

If you look at this image you’ll see the “bokeh” on the left of the bride – those are houses in Camps Bay. One of the wonderful things about eloping in Cape Town is that there is breathtaking scenery very close to the city which means you can be in the golden light for photographs and still make it to one of Cape Town’s incredible restaurants to celebrate

Start planning your Cape Town elopement

Now that you’re sold on eloping in Cape Town, you’re probably wondering about the requirements to get your legally married in South Africa. You can find a detailed breakdown of the paperwork needed here. To get you a little excited about Cape Town and all that it has to offer, follow Secret Cape Town here.

As mentioned a little earlier, an elopement should be personal rather than tailored. Focus on your vows instead of puzzling over whether you have the right documentation. Make the big decisions quickly so that you don’t have to trawl through the feeds of Cape Town’s 266 wedding photographers to find the “one”.

You chose to elope in Cape Town because you want to start your marriage with an epic adventure. Don’t let that adventure become another to-do list.

Elope on one of Cape Town's incredible secluded beaches

I’m not trying to boast but I’m rather lucky… Now I can’t promise you’ll have good weather on the day of your Cape Town elopement but what I can say is that every time I’ve done an elopement at this secret location, I have been blessed with phenomenal sunsets.

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How to Officiate a Friend’s Wedding Ceremony

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So, you’ve been asked to officiate your friend’s wedding ceremony – what an honour! As chuffed as you must be, officiating your friend’s wedding ceremony is a rather daunting task.

The best ceremonies are personal, heartfelt and fun. This is a hard balance to get right. I’m here to help you. From here on out, I will mostly refer to you as a celebrant or newbie celebrant because that’s what you’re about to become. Let’s begin.

What qualifies me to give you advice?

Well, for starters, I’ve lead hundreds of wedding ceremonies. I’ve also listened to a lot of wedding ceremonies: I’m also a photographer bringing me in earshot of beautiful ceremonies and I sometimes handle the legal side of a marriage only, affording me time to sit and listen.

What inspired me to become a celebrant? I officiated a friend’s wedding ceremony. And then another and another. And then I looked into becoming registered so I could sort out the legal side too. If you’d like to find out a little more about me, you can have a look here.

Marriage Officer Lara - Testimonial Page - Weddings Cape Town

You may have guessed it, that’s me in the red dress. I happen to be officiating a wedding ceremony for a friend. I now have shorter hair and I’ve got a weird ombre brunette/blonde thing going on but I hope this hasn’t changed: That I still look at my couples with such delight.

The brief given to you by the couple

My first tip: Take officiating your friend’s wedding ceremony seriously. Perhaps the biggest mistake I’ve seen made is that the family member or friend is too casual in their preparation and too casual in their delivery. Ultimately, the wedding ceremony is the crux of the day – why everyone is gathered and why they’ve travelled far to be there. This matters. Also, most poeple don’t expect much from the ceremony – they usually anticipate being bored and drifting off. Surprise them!

Often the couple themselves aren’t sure what they’re looking for in a wedding ceremony. All they know is they don’t want a traditional wedding ceremony and they don’t want it to feel too stiff and they’re not about to trust a priest that they don’t know to lead such an important moment in their lives. In essence, couples instructions to you – the celebrant – are vague. “I dunno… maybe a poem, some nice words, vows, a ring exchange…” I mean even that is a lot more than some newbie celebrants are given.

With a vague brief and a task you’ve never seen executed particularly well, officiating a friend’s wedding ceremony becomes (after the initial honour has worn off) a bit of a hospital pass. It doesn’t have to be. I’m here to help you craft a ceremony that is deeply personal to the couple and also unique to you and your way in the world. They chose you for a reason.

Marriage Officer Lara - Elle & Calvin Wedding - Weddings Cape Town

Don’t reinvent the wheel

The good news is there is no need to start from scratch when it comes to a ceremony script. There are certain touchstones in a ceremony that you should hit because without them the ceremony feels a little flat. For example, the classic “I do”s. Sure, you don’t have the legal authority to make it official. That doesn’t mean your ceremony shouldn’t include the line, “Do you Jack take Jill to be your wife?” Other ceremony cornerstones include a welcome, the vows, a ring exchange and a pronouncement. Beautiful wording already exists for each of these sections of a wedding ceremony. Don’t waste energy trying to write everything anew. That’s not where your energy needs to go.

Making the ceremony your own

Weave your personal flare, knowledge of the couple and the couple’s unique story into the ceremony. To do this, it’s easiest to start from a base. You can email me on marriageofficerlara@gmail.com if you’d like me to send you a ceremony script, questions to send to the couple as well as readings for them to choose from. I also have some readings you can look through on my blog. Once you have all this, you’ll be able to use your time wisely to weave in details and anecdotes into the ceremony.

Now, when I encourage you to make the ceremony your own what I really mean is make it their own (as in the couple’s). One of the best pieces of advice I’ve received is from my dad (who is a keynote speaker). He said that when saying a speech about someone, you should continually ask yourself if you’re included this element because it makes you look good (funny, smart, witty) or because it makes that person look good. If you have this for your benchmark, I don’t think you can go wrong.

Ceremonies within the ceremony

Simple wedding ceremonies are often the most beautiful and meaningful. Some couples – especially those that are doing away with more traditional elements of wedding ceremonies – want to create gravitas by including rituals or symbolic traditions in their ceremony. Perhaps the most well-known example of these is unity ceremonies. The most leant on is a candle ritual. There are two long thin candles representing each family (or each partner, depending on what you want to emphasize). A member of each family can come up (perhaps the moms) to light the candles (it’s always nice to look for ways to include loved ones). Each partner can then take a candle each and light a third pillar candle which symbolises that they have created another family as a result of their union.

(FYI I’d only attempt a candle ceremony if you’re officiating inside.)

Other rituals that invite loved one to be a part of the ceremony include a ring warming ceremony or a handfasting ceremony. I’m happy to walk you through these and other options if you’d like some guidance on any of them.

Let’s talk logistics

One of the most common mistakes I’ve seen made when a family member or friend is asked to officiate a friend’s wedding ceremony is that they don’t think of the logistics. You’d be surprised how often the celebrant forgets to tell everyone to sit down after the bride or groom or couple have made their entrance. The result (at least in South Africa) is that the congregation (for want of a better word) aren’t sure what to do and out of politeness they remain standing for the full duration of the ceremony.

Other factors that newbie celebrants often don’t consider: Talking to the couple about how the ceremony will start and end; how the couple will stand and how to make the ceremony not feel too static or rigid; what the wedding party will do once the ceremony begins; what to do with the boutique if there is a boutique; and vows (how to guide a couple if they choose to say personal vows).

A Last Word on How to Officiate a Friend’s Wedding Ceremony

I’ve talked a number of newbie celebrants through officiating their first wedding. In fact I’ve done it so many times now that I have created a guide for newbie celebrants. I also offer consultant, scripts, readings and ideas to make the ceremony special and personal. Pop me an email marriageofficerlara@gmail.com and we can figure out what you need – whether a 30 min call – or a script to get you started and feeling more confident about leading your first wedding ceremony.

 

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